You think this is Funny?
by Agent R
Summary: During a stop in a hotel, Duncan plays a joke on Richie he soon learns reflects on an incident that occured, scarring him. Amber's back from Going My Way, carrying an attitude like always. Please read and review!


You Think This is Funny?  
  
Author's note (to everyone who reads this story, you'll have to read "Going My Way" in order to understand everything, please read and review, and I hope you enjoy)  
  
November, 1999, what a year, you live for hundreds, thousands of years even, you defeat Immortals, monsters, zombies, exes, and you still can't get any rest. Well, enough time had gone by, everyone figured it was time they left England, the plane came to a stop in Detroit, Duncan had found a rather pricy hotel to stay for a couple days, but he'd seen better. Nevertheless, it was fitting, Richie and Methos took room 136 and Duncan and Joe would take room 137, Duncan figured as much trouble as Richie could get into, it would be best if he was nearby without hovering over him.  
  
"Well, not much, but it's better than some places I've been in," Methos said.  
  
"Yeah, like what?" Richie asked.  
  
"Try a sweatbox for 3 straight hours, while being handcuffed behind your back, because you're accused of being a refuge hiding out from the war," Methos explained.  
  
"Sounds like a bad marriage I read about," Richie scoffed, "ask me, I'd take a place like this over any Taj Mahal you found vagancy in any day."  
  
Richie flopped down on the bed when he realized there was a problem, it was only going on 9 o clock at night and he was exhausted.  
  
[Must be jet lag,] he figured.  
  
Then, Richie got an idea, something to liven up a bit, he called room service and ordered 2 bloody marys and a shot of vodka.  
  
"I say, you sure know how to put them away," Methos said.  
  
"Yeah well....I hoped it would get me going, but apparently it's not gonna work...."  
  
Richie threw himself down on the bed again, he figured if he was this tired then there was only one thing to do. Just then, Richie shot up in panic when he heard someone pounding on the door.  
  
"This is the police, open up!"  
  
As Richie headed for the door, Duncan kicked the door in and did his best imitation of a machine gun he could, Richie turned bright red and felt his body temperature going up like a thermometer in July when Duncan burst out laughing.  
  
"You should see the look on your face Rich, that was great!" Duncan said.  
  
Richie jumped on his feet and gave Duncan a look that could kill.  
  
"For you, maybe," Richie sighed.  
  
Richie headed into the bathroom and slammed the door.  
  
"Ah, come on Rich, I was only joking! Rich!" Duncan called.  
  
"What's all the noise in here? I have less trouble relaxing in a Turkish prison!"  
  
Duncan was knocked for a loop when he saw who the guest next door was.  
  
"Amber, what're you doing here?" he asked.  
  
Naturally Duncan was excited to see her, but half confused as to how she got there.  
  
"Coming over to complain about all the noise, sounds like a Lethal Weapon movie," she said.  
  
"That's not what I meant, what are you doing in Detroit?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Visiting, where's Rich?" Amber asked.  
  
"He locked himself in the bathroom, apparently he's not talking to Duncan," Methos said.  
  
"Where's Amanda?" Amber asked.  
  
"Europe," Duncan rolled his eyes.  
  
"Fight?" Amber asked.  
  
"Yup," Duncan replied.  
  
"So what happened?" Amber asked.  
  
"Ask Officer MacDuff," Methos said.  
  
"Wait a minute...what'd he.....Are you------Duncan, you were using that on Richie? Talk about sick," Amber said.  
  
Duncan didn't quite get what she was saying, Amber headed over to her room when Methos thought of something.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?" he asked.  
  
"Going to see Rich, his bathroom and mine have doors that separate us from the same room," Amber said.  
  
Amber went into her room, unlocked the door leading to the bathroom and walked in to see Richie pacing back and forth at the sink.  
  
"Some wrong, redneck?" she asked.  
  
"You heard him, what do you think?" Richie asked.  
  
"Oh come on Rich, Duncan didn't know, he's over 400 years old, when you get to be that age, your mind starts to slip," Amber said.  
  
"Amber, he knows, why did he do that?" Richie asked.  
  
"Aw, come on Rich, it's not like everybody doesn't make a joke involving the police sooner or later," Amber said.  
  
"Yeah, well why'd he have to do it with me? He knows what I've been through with those pigs, why's he doing this to me?" Richie asked.  
  
"Rich, come on, Mac's had his problems with the cops too," Amber said.  
  
"Yeah....well not like me," Richie replied.  
  
"Ohhhhh....here we go, you start carrying that Brat Pack attitude there's gonna be trouble, come on Rich, I've had my problems with the police more than once myself, you know, I don't let it bother me," Amber said.  
  
"How come? You were arrested more than once, the police harrassed you, and you could've gotten a 20 year sentence for something you didn't even do, how do you ignore that?" Richie asked.  
  
"Pretty easy at times, others....you just want to rip out the throat of every officer.....you know, but, the way I see it is its their problem, and one of these days, they're going to realize how screwed they were when they did it. One of these days, they're gonna be sorry for what they did, you know...Life's too short to just think about one thing and cling to it forever...Me....I just pretty much concentrate on whatever's happening at the moment. Thing of it is, Rich, you can't always expect people to read you like a book, if you've got a problem, you should tell them, instead of just expecting them to know," Amber said.  
  
Richie sunk down to the floor and rested his head against the tub.  
  
"But you knew," he sighed.  
  
"That's because I have been in the exact same place you have and then some, now Mac, he's been through 2 World Wars, the Great Depression, the rein of terror of Hitler, a vampire, gangsters, Chinese morons and endless rivals. You think he's going to remember every problem we've had with the police?" Amber laughed.  
  
Richie grunted, he didn't feel like tussling it around with Duncan tonight, after what he did.  
  
"I've never seen Rich act like that before," Duncan said.  
  
"You must've struck quite the nerve on him," Methos replied.  
  
"Well I don't think he'll come around if I stay, goodnight Methos," Duncan left the room.  
  
"Goodnight you ass," Methos replied.  
  
By morning, Duncan figured Richie would've shrugged off what happened last night, he went into Richie's Suite, but couldn't find him, only Methos in bed.  
  
"Where's Richie?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Haven't seen him all night, I dozed off at 2:30 and he still wasn't here," Methos said.  
  
"Well where could he be?" Duncan asked.  
  
"You might want to check Amber's suite since she's next door," Methos suggested.  
  
Duncan quietly slipped in through the bathroom, since he figured Richie might be asleep still. Duncan found Richie and Amber asleep in bed, Richie was on the right side pretty much curled up, looking like if his side of the bed wasn't right next to the wall, he'd fall out. Amber on the other hand was on the left side all spread out. Duncan had to laugh they almost looked cute together, he gently shook Amber to wake her up.  
  
"What is it?" she asked.  
  
"Shhhhhh," Duncan replied, "come with me into the next room."  
  
Amber followed Duncan into the bathroom, he looked back to make sure Richie was asleep.  
  
"What's wrong with Richie? Why's he so sore?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Maybe you're forgetting who that is, Richie "Redstone" Ryan, who's had nothing but trouble with  
  
the police, the authorities, everything imaginable, most of the time, for something he didn't do. Last night when you pulled that joke, that's exactly what happened..." Amber said.  
  
"What?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Richie told me about it, in 1991, he checked into a hotel for the night, his bike broke down and a storm came up, he wasn't in the mood to race the weather. Around midnight, the police were pounding the door in, they grabbed him and charged him with larceny, grand theft auto, and possession of heroin. He managed to beat that rap but...Duncan, if that happened to you, what would you have done last night when you heard someone banging on the door and then found out it was your friend of almost 8 years?" Amber asked.  
  
"I see...but why'd he stay with you last night?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Well, Richie figured you'd be waiting in his room to talk to him, so he asked if he could spend the night with me, and the next thing I know....this is the next thing I know."  
  
"Oh man, I really screwed up...do you think he'll talk to me?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Talking's the easy part, the hard part will be getting him to forgive ya, I know Richie, and I know he can be really stubborn in cases like this," Amber explained.  
  
"I know..."  
  
Duncan waited about an hour before he decided to apologize, come 8 o clock, he went back into Amber's room. Richie was awake, but still in bed, Amber was sitting on the edge on the other side talking to him.  
  
"Amber, could you give us a minute alone?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Sure...I just hope when I come back the two of you are still alive," Amber replied.  
  
Amber kissed Richie on the temple before she left the room, Duncan decided it was time to cut to the chase.  
  
"Richie, I'm sorry about last night.....I.....I didn't realize that.......that you were....you were taken into custody like that.......Richie.......I......"  
  
Every time Duncan paused, it was because every time he tried to get Richie to look him in the eyes, Richie turned his head, Duncan figured the only way he'd get Richie to stop turning away, would be if he jumped on the bed and pinned Richie, however he wasn't that desparate.  
  
"I don't get you Mac, why the hell did you do that? Don't tell me you forgot everything I've gone through with the police," Richie said.  
  
"Rich, look," Duncan said.  
  
However, Richie didn't want to see him today, he brought the covers up over his head and started heading for the foot of the bed.  
  
"Oh no you don't, I coming in after you," Duncan said.  
  
Duncan grabbed the bottom of the covers, stuck his head in and started climbing in through the front.   
  
"Now look Rich, I'm gonna-----OOF!"   
  
As Duncan started crawling in, he butted heads with Richie as they collided in the middle.  
  
"That's gonna leave a mark," Richie said, jumping out of bed.  
  
"Rich, I didn't forget your problems with the authorities, I just figured you'd see the humor in it," Duncan said.  
  
"Mac, right now, my idea of humor would be sticking a live alligator in your bathtub, you've got a sick sense of humor, you know?" Richie asked.  
  
"Rich, look, I didn't mean anything by it, I just thought once you found out it was me, you'd chase me around the lobby and try to smash something over my head," Duncan said.  
  
"You know, right now that doesn't sound like a bad idea," Richie told him.  
  
Richie picked up a vase and made his way towards Duncan, however, he wasn't about to get knocked out anytime soon, so he took off with Richie close behind.  
  
At 11, Amber decided to see what was going on with Richie, she went back into her room and found Richie making the bed.  
  
"Rich, what're you doing? The maid does that," Amber said.  
  
"I just decided to be helpful," Richie said.  
  
"In all the years I've known you Ryan, you've never been helpful, why start now?" Amber asked.  
  
Richie and Amber got into a conversation, one that lasted until night, Amber went to her room for dinner and an aspirin, all the talking they did gave her a migraine.  
  
"Richie, where are you?" Duncan asked.  
  
"In the bathroom shaving," Richie called, "what's going on?"  
  
"Ohhh, nothing, I was just thinking, next time I do something like that, before you get a chance to be steaming red like a lobster, I'm going to try hypnosis to stop you," Duncan said.  
  
"You're a hypnotist now?" Richie asked.  
  
"Well I'm still new to it, but I'm going to try," Duncan replied.  
  
Duncan looked at Richie with eyes that came on empty, Richie soon got the same look in his eyes, it was then that Duncan realized he wasn't moving.  
  
"Oh no, come on Richie, snap out of it, be more like you used to be," Duncan said.  
  
Richie slapped Duncan across the face, without even realizing his hand was still lathered with shaving creme.  
  
"Stay away from me you freak!"  
  
"Atta boy, that's more like you used to be," Duncan held the boy's face in his hands and slapped his cheek repeatedly.  
  
Later...  
  
"Did I miss anything?" Amber asked.  
  
""Where were you?" Richie asked.  
  
"I figured you were fighting with Mac, so I stayed with Methos, and I showed him how to make a Bloody Mary from scratch," Amber said.  
  
"Oh yeah? How?" Richie asked.  
  
"You didn't hear it from me but----you take 1/3 club soda, 1/3 vodka, and 1/3 tomato juice and mix them all together," Amber said, "so how'd things work over with you and Mac?"  
  
  
  
"Fair...I chased him for about 3 blocks when I finally caught him, then the faggot must've apologized a hundred times," Richie explained.  
  
"What'd you do?" Amber asked.  
  
"I had no choice, I told him I accepted," Richie answered.  
  
"Must've been pretty bad," Amber said.  
  
"It sure was, imagine an Immortal, who's over 400 years old, he's been through every bloody war imaginable, you tackle him to the ground and he starts apologizing and laughing at a much higher octive than usual," Richie replied.  
  
"I better get back to my room, the hotel security got suspicious about us spending the night together last night, I'll see you in the morning," Amber said.  
  
"Good night," Richie slammed the door.  
  
"Thank you," Methos said, walking in.  
  
"Sorry, I was saying goodnight to Amber," Richie said.  
  
"I know, I know, but I have a question, does she always wear boxers?" Methos asked.  
  
"Boy, I'll never understand Mac, how bout you?" Richie asked.  
  
"Nope, last night after he left for his room, I called him a fine name, that being less pleasurable of the real definition of a mule," Methos said.  
  
"Jackass?" Richie asked.  
  
"Get rid of the jack and you've got it," Methos replied.  
  
"Man, I'm gonna have to stat hanging out with you more often," Richie laughed. 


End file.
